


An Overly Limited Language

by LightDarkPheonix



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Agender Character, M/M, Reference to Drug Use, Slash, reference to past drug use, transexual character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-08 20:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightDarkPheonix/pseuds/LightDarkPheonix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am going through a very long and convoluted sexuality crisis.  It is also a gender identity crisis.  I decided to deal with this by writing this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I OWN NOTHING

Sherlock always identified as a cisgendered male when he was asked. This was technically true, and he felt no real discomfort with this lie. He had a penis, he had a prostate. The sex hormone that his brain produced then sent through his veins was testosterone, not estrogen.  The likelihood of him growing breasts was very very slim. Still he felt a twinge of _wrongness_ each time he was forced to place himself into a box. English was a ridiculously constraining language, forcing him to chose one of two nouns, as referring to himself as "other" a) made him feel like an tick box, a sensation that was not particularly pleasant, b) made people think he was joking and give very forced, awkward laughs. The one time he defined himself as “other” and the person he was speaking to actually understood what he meant (Mycroft), he was immediately told that could never say that to anyone, for they would not understand, and people with lesser minds react violently to things they do not understand. 

The sense of _wrong_ existed long before his post-university plunge into the more sordid side of London gave him a rather intimate knowledge of gender/sexuality. Afterwards he came to the opinion that if gender were a sliding scale he was in the middle, except not both, but neither. Though Sherlock’s body was most definitely male, his mind was not. If sexuality were a sliding scale Sherlock would be in the middle as well. His views on sex was that it was a tool as any other, and though he did sometimes feel attraction to others, he soon learned to control this. Sherlock’s body was very attractively male, and he often used this as an advantage.  

When Sherlock first met John Watson he immediately noticed that John Watson was male but not of origin. Further digging and a favor owed from Mycroft showed that John Watson was originally Kaitlyn Watson. Sherlock decided to keep this silent because he was certain that John Watson would never talk to him again. As John Watson was one of the first people Sherlock had been **Unable To Control His Attraction To** in a long time, Sherlock did not want this, even if John was straight. He was surprised when John dated Sarah, because Sherlock knew that some people were uncomfortable with sexes and genders not matching up. 

One day John asked Sherlock if Sherlock was a girl. Apparently he had heard two of the Yarders discussing this theory, and wanted to know what Sherlock thought on that. Normally Sherlock would have told John that it was stupid for John to listen to the Yarder’s natterings, but Sherlock guessed that this was an **Emotional Topic** for John Watson and that maybe he should **Be Careful and Act Within Social Bounds** , which unfortunately had been forcibly placed into the **To Be Not Deleted But Ignored** section of his Mind Palace.

Sherlock decided that maybe John would understand if Sherlock told him. Sherlock told John that he felt that he was neither gender and that the English language was A **nnoying Limiting** and that there should be more than two words for gender. He also told him about the **Years That Should Not Have Happened**. Then more nervously Sherlock told John that he knew that John’s original sex and gender did not match up. 

John said that he was **Not Surprised** that Sherlock knew who Kaitlyn Watson was and that he was glad that Sherlock did not think it strange. John also agreed with Sherlock that the English language was ridiculous in it’s limitation, but that unfortunately it is the only language he can speak. He also asked what of the two pronouns Sherlock preferred, and Sherlock said that “he” would be fine until a new one was made up. "I"t was for objects, and Sherlock was not an object, he was a person.

John said that he knew that Sherlock was a person and not an object, and that he was glad that Sherlock was not insisting on calling him Katilyn. He also told Sherlock that he would kill him if he ever told anyone the name that his parents gave him but wasn’t his name. Sherlock decided that asking the details of the changes John gave his body would be against **Even John’s Limits** and refrained from asking and instead decided to google it later. Maybe it would be **Important For Later Cases.**

Sherlock then told John that he was incapable of controlling his sexual attraction/maybe love for John and if John **Wanted To Go Away** he would be Ok with that.  John told Sherlock that he is not from the 1800s and that just because Sherlock did not have a mental gender did not mean that John thought that he did not have a sexuality. John then told him that John also was attracted/maybe in love with Sherlock but had been worried because he did not know if Sherlock would be OK with him not being normal. 

Sherlock then said that normal was boring and that remember he could see everything. John reminded Sherlock that Sherlock had been wrong about Harry. Sherlock said that if John still had a vagina he would be Ok with that, Sherlock had had stranger sex while high. John said that he did not want to know the details, and Sherlock said that that was good because the thoughts were deeply buried inside Sherlock’s mind palace. Sherlock asked John did he want to have sex. John said that usually people went on dates first and Sherlock said that by John’s definition of date they had been going on dates for a long time now. John then decided to kiss Sherlock and Sherlock thought that this was definitely better than the **Weird Sex** that he had had during the **Years That Should Not Have** Happened. He also though that John was a very good kisser and that he was very happy. Maybe the **Maybe Love** was **Actual Love**. Then Sherlock’s mind was incapable of actual though for a **Long Period Of Time**.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I STILL OWN NOTHING.  
> I did not originally intend to write this but the plot bunnies are evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou my reviewers :D You make me very happy. Thankyou for the 250 people who took time to read my fic.

If Sherlock had been **More Aware** of what was going on, maybe John would not be **Possibly Going To Die**.  According to what the doctors had told him and what he had then hacked from John’s files, his chances of dying were very good.  Or bad.  Or possibly both depending on the perspective of the person thinking and whether they had a tendency of **Having Overly Morbid Thoughts**.  Now John was in the Hospital because Sherlock had **Not Noticed** the bomb that should have obviously been implanted in that particular corpse.  Also the doctor would have to know that John’s gender did not match his sex of origin.  Mastectomy scars are usually **Very Obvious** during surgery, which was what John had to have when he was brought to the hospital. Normally Sherlock did not care what **Other People** though, but he was still weary of **Awkward Questions** about both he and John’s lack of being cisgendered.  **Awkward Questions** were very common when he still sometimes said “other” as his gender.  

Thankfully Mycroft used the fact that he was **The Government** to keep the doctor quiet.  That doctor was cheating on his wife with three other women (possibly at the same time) and this information was used **Not Gleefully At All** by Sherlock to keep him from telling anyone that wasn’t strictly needing to know.  Unfortunately as John was blown up **On A Case** a copper needed to be there with him.  Lestrade was that copper (Sherlock was now very frustrated with Mycroft because Sherlock now owed him a lot) but Sherlock still did not know if Lestrade was OK with **People Like Him and John** because even though it was the 21st century lots of people still pretended that **The Bible Was Relevant** and not utterly obsolete.  Or that the Bible actually said anything besides **Very Boring** genealogies.  When the doctor asked Sherlock is he knew about John not being cisgendered, Lestrade looked very surprised but also not disgusted.  Lestrade than said that he had no problems with that and that he had guessed but because **Social Norms** he had not brought it up.

Sherlock decided not to tell Lestrade his lies because just then **John Woke Up** and things were more important than answering stupid questions.  Sherlock told John that he was blown up and then told Lestrade that he should go.  Lestrade who is **Not Actually That Stupid** got the hint and left.  John told Sherlock that he was OK and that nothing really hurt.  John then asked if the doctor knew about Kaitlyn.  Sherlock said that yes but that Mycroft made him promise not to tell.  Also that blackmail is very legal if the **Government** says so.  John looked worried and asked if Lestrade knew.  Sherlock said that yes but that Lestrade was **Very Much Not A Moron** and that he was OK with it and that he already knew.  

John laughed and said that wasn’t Sherlock going to ask how John felt?  Sherlock said that those were **Boring Social Norms** but if that would make John happy then yes how was he feeling.  John said that he felt like he’d been blown up.  Sherlock said that that was very obvious why had he said that.  John said that it was **A Joke** and that it was supposed to be funny.  Sherlock than got it and laughed because morbid humor was funny.  

After the John convinced the doctors that he was OK and could go home in less than a day Sherlock asked if he still wanted to go on a case.  **Social Norms** , while not important with anyone else, were very important because John was John and very important.  John said that he would not like to stay at home and that all he had was a bad migraine and possibly his shoulder might act up again.  Sherlock said that he had an idea who was the killer/bomber but he would have to go back to the crime scene and was John OK with that?  John replied that it was OK because he wanted to help solve the case and remember he had a blog with lots of followers and he wanted to be able to write about it.

When John came home Sherlock played violin but it was not **Loud And Screechy and Full Of Thoughts** but an actual song.  John said that he liked the music but please it was three in the morning and he was tired.  Back at the crime scene Lestrade said nothing and Anderson and Donovan were still **Oblivious Morons** who had less than one brain cell.  Sherlock may have kissed John repeatedly but they assumed that Sherlock and John were normal because they were stupid. 

The killer was ridiculously easy to find and was also a very big idiot because he had ordered a pre-made bomb over the internet and Sherlock’s hacking skills are **Not To Be Denied**.  Lestrade pretended that everything they did was perfectly legal because that was what he did.  John had trouble moving his arm for a few weeks but still it was OK.  Sherlock also found out that Lestrade and Mycroft were shagging and he spent most of that night **Trying Not To Picture It** because even though he was in his thirties he still found the thought of his sibling having sex gross.  John called him immature and told him to stop shooting the wall, John’s gun was illegal and he also did not want Mrs. Hudson kicking them out.  Sherlock said that Mrs. Hudson would not kick them out because Sherlock was special.  John called Sherlock an idiot and started laughing.

John turned on the telly and it was Doctor Who which was a show that Sherlock actively found interesting because **Bowties Are Cool**.  Also the science was sort of awesome and you anyway he could just delete it later if he wanted to.  Of course there were lots of explosions and Sherlock asked John if he was OK and John said that of course he was.  Sherlock decided that he was definitely happy.  John than yelled at Sherlock to **Stop Predicting The Ends Of Episodes.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know the case is a bit rushed but I'm trying to use only around 1000 words for each of these chapters. I keep updating this story even though I keep thinking I won't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *LOOKS AROUND* NOPE, STILL OWN NOTHING.

Sherlock was confused when Lestrade pulled him aside one time at a crime scene, in the bathroom off to the side where the body was. Usually he just let Sherlock come in and do his thing, sighing while The Idiot Yarders went about their idiot ways and tried and failed to insult him. Sherlock deduced that this had to do with John, because Lestrade looked worried about Social Norms and usually John was the one who cared about them. Lestrade told Sherlock that the killer was serial. Sherlock told him that Yes, This Was Obvious as those were the kinds of killers that Lestrade usually called Sherlock in for. Lestrade told him that this killer had a pattern and that that pattern was people whose sexes and genders did not match up. Sherlock did not understand the problem about this for 1.3 seconds then realized that this might mean that the John’s Secret might not be a secret anymore very soon. Because Normal People were often stupid and bigoted John did not talk about Kaitlyn Watson that much, because he feared ruin. Ruin of what Sherlock did not understand, he usually deleted a lot of the questions people asked them, because they were unimportant.   
Sherlock asked Lestrade how the Moronic Duo were taking it. He said that Donavan was taking it fine, she actually has some intelligence you know, but that Anderson was refusing to take the case. Sherlock said that maybe it would be a good idea for Lestrade to tell John this, it might be a nasty surprise. Lestrade told Sherlock that it might not be a good idea for John to be there because there weren’t that many transgender people in anywhere and this killer probably worked at someplace like a hospital where he had easy access to public records. Sherlock said that they should ask John first because John did not like it when Sherlock went off and did something On His Own. Also John could protect himself, remember he was in the military.  
So Sherlock went back to where the body was (in the living room) and asked John if he wanted to continue on the case. Donavan looked confused but Lestrade told her to leave and as she probably expected this anyway, she left. John said that he did not care that this was the killer’s pattern, Sherlock Was An Idiot and probably would get himself killed or at least very nearly shot if John was not there. Lestrade asked John if he had told anyone besides Sherlock that he was Kaitlyn. John said that the only person outside his family and his psychologist was the doctor who had treated him after The Explosion That Revealed Things To Lestrade and Mycroft had threatened him with ruin to keep him quiet. Lestrade said that it was probably that the person who had killed these people was not a doctor because there were gruesome attempts to “fix” the them but these attempts made them look like they had been put through paper shredders. Sherlock said that hope was irrelevant it did not stop the facts. John said that he knew that, but John Was Vaguely Normal and so he felt things like hope and things.   
Sherlock was very interested in finding out who the killer was because a)this was the most interesting case he had in a long time b)Sentiment made him want to eliminate any chance that John was Not Safe. Sherlock realized that of the things that all the corpses had had in common when they were breathing was that they all went to the place for their therapy. Not the same psychologist, the same secretary for all the psychologists. That secretary was in a relationship with one of the shrinks and he thought that maybe they were cheating on him so he planted bugs in all the rooms of the psychologists. That is how he found out that these people did not match sexes with genders and a strange case of Religion=Homicidal Tendencies he had been convinced that transgender people were abominations created by the Devil and that he had been sent on a holy mission by God to kill them all and try to fix them and make them repent of their sins in that order.   
While they were chasing the killer he recognized John and started screaming about devil spawn and tried to repeatedly stab him. John hit him. Sherlock started laughing and kissed John. The killer than started spewing more Society Lies about Hell and a few other things that were possibly religious but that Sherlock had deleted a Long Time Ago. John hit him again. That is how the Yarders found them, Sherlock and John giggling like morons and the killer lying on the floor moaning/babbling in Latin. Lestrade decided that he did not want to ask, he had one Holmes that he continually dealt with on a daily basis who found it hilarious when North Korea threatened to kill America and possibly had the ability to depose said government, and he did not want to have to deal with the other one. The killer who apparently was more of a moran than Sherlock had originally thought thought that the coppers were coming to arrest Sherlock and John for their sins (did he think that Victorian law still applied in this area?) and that God was happy on this day.  
When Sherlock and John got home John looked sad. Sherlock asked John why he looked sad. John said it was because he had thought that people had become smarter in the past 200 years but that in fact they had not. Sherlock said that in his opinion John was very smart and so was Sherlock and that it was just the idiots who believed Society Lies who were idiots and that humans were not all stupid. John looked surprised when Sherlock said this. Sherlock said that if all humans were stupid then his work would be terribly boring because stupid people murderers are very easy to find. John laughed and said that that was the Sherlock he was used to. He then went off to type up the day’s case (though possibly on a file saved on his computer and not uploaded to the blog) and Sherlock went off to check on the tonsils he had put in the freezer inside some ice cube trays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to alyxpoe, AshPteron, somanyhands, GleefulMayhem, Circsam, mogwai_do, eeekabee and wynjara for kudos-ing. Thankyou to the three guests who did so as well. You make me happy :D  
> Thank you to afanagain for being an awesome post-upload spellchecker (and being first commenter :D) to somanyhands for a)taking time to read my fic and being and amazing Sherlockian fanfic writer to Roth1900 for your comment, to somanyhands again for recommenting when chapter two came out, alyxpoe for commenting, and hello world for an awesome username and commenting. It means a lot that you take time out of your day to read/comment on my fics. Also to my *gasps* almost 400 reads for clicking on this story, which I never though would be noticed :D  
> It makes me happy that people think that I've done well with this. I was literally vibrating with happiness when I first found out that people had commented. HAVE A GOOD DAY AND GERONIMO :D


End file.
